


On the Edge

by WhereverMySITakesMe



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Mentioned Cham Syndulla, Minor Order 66, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29021406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereverMySITakesMe/pseuds/WhereverMySITakesMe
Summary: Master Luminara Ulandi tries to save her Padawan and find out where she went wrong.Little does she know that time is running out.
Relationships: Barriss Offee & Luminara Unduli
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	On the Edge

Cultural heritage was a complex issue for Jedi. Being raised far away from one’s people, submerged in the Jedi ways, with few, if any, other members of one’s species nearby made it hard to connect to one traditions. Of course, there were some who tried though.

Like the rest of the Jedi, Master Secura had been raised on Coruscant but, somehow, she spoke with a heavy Ryll accent. Most likely her way of connecting to her people. And, in addition, her clothing was … more of what one would expect of Twi’lek than of a Jedi.

Master Shaak Ti also had an accent- a lilting tone almost like a purr. But apart from the beads she wore on her montrails, she dressed like most Jedi, in loose brown robes and there was little about her behaviour that suggested the influence of Shilian traditions.

Perhaps Master Unduli was more in tune with her background than was typical for non-human Jedi. But it was how she had been raised. She kept her head covered, prayed to the Mirialan god and had had her face tattooed to commemorate notable achievements, just as she had been taught in childhood. And, in turn, she took on a Miliran Padawan and raised her the same way.

She had thought that she’d been a good master. She proud- that would be improper- but she couldn’t find any glaring errors in her approach. Padawan Offee had always been eager to please and to learn and, despite the war, Luminera had tried to give the girl a complete education, including nurturing Barriss’ gift for healing, something she personally had no talent for. She hadn’t scrimped on instructions on mediation or warnings of the Dark Side. She had made it clear what the role of a Jedi was and was not, war or no war.

She hadn’t been a mother. It wouldn’t have been appropriate to become attached to her Padawan or vice versa. But it had been her who had held Barriss’ hand when she got her first tattoo. Her who had waited anxiously outside the child’s bacta tank after a brutal battle. For years, they had been near inseparable- traveling, fighting and living together day after day. If Barriss had come to her with struggles about her emotions, the Jedi, the darkside, anything, Master Unduli would have listened to her

But she hadn’t. She’d had horrifying, evil, thoughts and kept them to herself. Luminera must have failed her somehow. She must have.

***

Barriss wasn’t properly dressed. The top of her head was covered by her underhood, so she was at least decent but the garment was open at the back and showed her hair. Hardly appropriate tor going out in public.

Also, she was throwing herself against the walls of her cell like a caged animal and screaming near-gibberish. She hadn’t been like this before. Even at the trial, she had been passionate, yes, but sane. Now she was a wreck. Master Unduli didn’t know if it was an attempt to rattle her or if the girl had truly lost her mind.

There wasn’t much she could do either way. She no longer the authority over Barriss, even if the girl wasn’t too far gone to take instruction.

“Barriss, please. Talk to me” Luminara automatically quashed any hint of desperation that might have coloured her voice.

“I am talking to you!” Barriss yelled “You aren’t listening to me. None of you will listen to me!”

“I am listening” Luminara tried to reassure her “I understand how you feel about the Jedi-”

“No, you don’t”

“Then explain, rationally, so that I can understand you”

Barriss howled wordlessly.

Luminara resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands “Please” she said again “Please. Talk to me. I’m listening. Barriss. I’m here”

It didn’t work. Nothing she said seemed to make any difference.

Eventually, she gave up and left. She returned, of course, whenever she could find an excuse to be in Coruscant. No matter how futile her efforts were, she couldn’t give up on Barriss. She knew that she was at least partially responsible for what happened- no Padawan could go so far off the rails without their Master being negligent at the very least. And she cared for the girl. To an appropriate degree. Not an attachment. Just...care.

Barriss was still so young. Too young to be left alone in a cell, screaming at the walls.

***

Normally, she would arrive at the cell to find Barriss raging or scathingly silent. Impossible to communicate with. Bu this time,, Luminara found her sitting on her bed, crying. It wasn’t an act. Luminara could see from the girl’s swollen eyes that she had already been in that state long before the Jedi’s arrival.

Silently, she sat down on the floor outside the cell wall, legs crossed, hoping her presence might soothe the girl somehow “Why are you crying, Barriss?”

It was a stupid question, given...everything. But she didn’t know what else to say. And it would have been impolite not to ask.

Barriss looked up but nothing for several seconds. Just as Luminera was going to try another tact, the girl rose and walked her front of her cell. Once there, she sat down on the floor and copied her former Master’s position.

The two of them sat in silence with only the glowing wall between them. Barriss had stopped crying and, for the first time since the girl’s imprisonment, Luminara felt a connection to her.

It couldn’t last. Eventually, Luminara was unable to justify her continued presence. There was a meeting she needed to attend. She stood slowly and with dignity. Not looking at Barriss’s face or breaking the silence with some platitude.

As she left she paused for a moment and said “I’m sorry, Barriss. Whatever I did, or didn’t do...I’m sorry”

Barriss didn’t respond. But perhaps, for the first time, she truly heard what Luminera was saying.

Master Windu stopped Master Unduli as she was leaving the prison building “You visit Barriss Offee often”

“She is my Padawan”

“Was. I can see you still care for her”

“If she can be saved from the darkside, I must attempt to do so” Master Unduli said calmly.

“I find that unlikely. You should be careful not to become attached.”

“I assure you, I am not”

“You make too many visits to Coruscant. The war needs you elsewhere”

She had no counter-argument to that. He was right that this was a frivolous use of her time, all things considered. She inclined her head as she said “I will go wherever I am needed, Master”

“Then I would suggest staying away from this planet for a while. There is more conflict on Onderon, you would be useful there”

“Whatever you think best”

***

Luminara never returned to Coruscant. After Onderon, she was sent to Alpinn, then E’ronoh and then Ryloth. She didn’t object. The more time she spent away from Coruscant the more she believed that Master Windu was been right- there was nothing she could do for her former Padawan. It was her duty to support the Republic on the front lines. 

But at night, she dream t of Geonosis. Not the second mission, the  factory and the  worms , but the first. The very first battle of the Clone Wars, it turned out. They hadn’t known, at the time. They  ha d known so little back then.

“You don’t have to come, Padawan Offee” Master Unduli had said. The girl had only been a Padawan for a matter of months and was not yet sixteen.

“I wish to be of assistance, Master” Padawan Offee bowed her head respectfully. A perfect Padawan, inside and out.

“Do you understand the danger?”

The girl nodded again “I am a competent fighter, Master. I will hold my own”

From what Master Unduli had seen, this was a fair-perhaps overly humble- assessment and the girl’s burgeoning healing skills might well be of use. 

Of course, she had never been in real combat before. But, then, neither had Luminara.

“As you wish, Padwan”

“I will go where you go, Master”

_I will go where you go._

***

Master Unduli survived by a distance of less than ten feet. She had taken a few steps away from her men to speak with Cham Syndulla just before the moment everything fell apart. If she hadn’t moved when she did, she would have been shot in the back by her own men. She barely made it as it was.

But those few feet bought her time. Enough to turn around and draw her lightsabre to defend herself. Then Cham came to her aid and between them, they were able to get rid of the immediate threat. Get rid of her men.

She knew, instantly, how bad it was. The deaths were already coming, thick and fast from every corner of the galaxy. She felt the pain of her fellow Jedi and with it the sense of betrayal. Their own men.

So, she ran. Skipped around the Outer rim, hiding her face, hiding in corners, taking rides from smugglers and drug dealers and anyone who wouldn’t ask questions. Stayed far, far away from Coruscant. From Barriss.

Even with the only life she’d known shattered into pieces, her lifelong friends and allies dead and her own life constantly at risk, Luminara was a Jedi Master. Would be until her dying breath- however soon that came. She could not allow her emotions to get the better of her and could not take unnecessary risks for the sake of a single person, a single child. A criminal who had been expelled from the order. Who might not even be willing to come with her old Master. Who might already be dead.

Luminara hadn’t even said goodbye.


End file.
